Precious gifts

Once again our favorite photographer has worked her magic, producing the following photos. We still can't decide which is our favorite - probably because in looking at each picture we can't help but say, "Man we have a beautiful family!". What a miracle to think that just over three years ago it was just Joel and I -- how lucky are we!

October 2006

It snowed twice this week, bringing the stark reality home that Winter is on it's way. For Naomi and Lilah, the sight of snow falling from the sky brought about squeals of delight, snowpants, mittens, hats and scarves. Naomi asked, "Can you help me build a snowman?". I had to break it to her gently that no, this dusting is not nearly enough to build a snowman. Perhaps next week, she said!

Also with thoughts of winter on his mind, Joel was outside today preparing the frame for backyard ice-rink. I wonder if we'll get to skate on it this year? In four winters, we've skated only one year and that was pre-kids. This is really the first year that Naomi and Lilah could get some use out of it - so we're hopeful.

Honestly, we all love winter . . . when it's really winter. Not the wet, icy, rainy and warmish sort of weather that we've had in the previous few years. For goodness sake, we live in South Western ONTARIO (not Vancouver) and if we're going to have winter, I WANT SNOW!!! All you folks who complain about a snowy winter, should move south with my in-laws (who will apparently be living in the lap of luxury this winter in their new fifth wheel!).

So . . . what have we been up to?? Well in my previous post I mentioned an outdoor photoshoot we had planned. That didn't happen. I think God was trying to tell me that a Christmas photo should not have fall colours in it because he kept sending flurries whenever we rescheduled. I have finally given in, and we've booked our next photo session with the kids on November 13th - IN the studio. While I'm a bit bummed about it, I'll happily look forward to next year when we'll finally get our outdoor family photo.

The girls continue to do well at school and while the novelty has worn off for Naomi, she seems to come home happy with her day there. Lilah thoroughly LOVES nursery school and would go every day if she could. Myles misses his sisters when they are gone.

First day of school pictures for Naomi and Lilah from September.

Myles loves the swing!

We've actually had a fun-filled fall, despite all the rain. We celebrated Thanksgiving with the Millen- side of our family, and enjoyed a visit with a relatives whom we haven't seen in a while. Later in the weekend we attended the Oktoberfest parade with the Ferrara's (my sister's family), my mom and brother (who is anxiously awaiting the arrival of his family from the Philipines any day now). Naomi was fascinated with all the horses in the parade and really enjoyed spending time with her cousins, Jacob and Andrew. Lilah took advantage of Uncle Bryan's free shoulders to gain a prime seat for the parade. Myles enjoyed Cheerios on the blankie with his cousin Lauren. We listened to the "e-i-e-i-e-i-o" (popular Oktoberfest rant) all the way to lunch!

Myles and Papa Tom

Mid-October we travelled to Niagara Falls and spent the weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge with our friends, the Shutt family. To those who have not yet been and have kids, it's wonderful. We all had a fantastic time and are making plans to return in the future. Lilah suprised me the most that weekend. She hates getting her face wet and isn't much of a daredevil. A couple of times I thought she would be calling it quits, but instead she chose to make the best of the situation and even asked for more! In fact, her favorite thing that weekend was a family waterslide that had us all riding on a raft, sliding down a tube at breakneck speeds, dropping down and banking up the sides of the tube and getting soaked at the end. I was sure when I asked her if she had fun at the end that she would say no, but she amazed me by replying, "Yeah. Let's do it again.". Naomi (our animal loving daredevil) also loved this ride, but was more thrilled with the talking bear, moose and tree in the lobby. She could have sat there for hours listening and chattering away at them. Myles -- well he's a water baby, and he loved to splash around. As usual, anything where he's close to the sister's made him more than happy.

We were also fortunate to visit with Joel's Aunt Roberta and Uncle Brian from Regina while we were in Niagara. They were visiting Ontario and staying the weekend in St. Catherines. We haven't seen them since the week after we came home from China to get Naomi, so there was lots of catching up to do. I think they got a taste of three kids under 4 yrs old and we got a chance for the adults to outnumber the kids at dinner! :) Would have been nice to have an adult conversation as well, but we've learned that you can't ask for too much these days! Needless to say, we really enjoyed catching up with them as much as we could.

Photos from Great Wolf Lodge

Grandma (GRAMMUDDER according to Lilah) and Grandpa (POPO according to Lilah) Klassen, Auntie Heather and Uncle John all came for a visit last weekend and the kids had a wonderful time. We attempted to make caramel apples, but our efforts were a flop. Grandpa and Uncle John were not disappointed though!

October also brought about our kids' favorite fall event, Halloween. Anyone who knows Naomi, also knows that she LOVES cheetahs. In early October I was grateful that a friend of ours managed to dig up a "Cheetah" costume for her, sparing my having to hunt high and low to find one for her. At times, we have had to bribe her to take it off. Lilah dressed up as a butterfly this year, in honor of all the monarchs we grew and she was adorable. Myles was a monkey . . . cute, cute, cute. Anyhow, the actual night of Halloween was met with great success and a pile of candy now sits in our pantry. Not sure who is devouring it the fastest - the adults or the kids.

Lilah's works of art!

Naomi's pumpkins.

The Ball Street Trick or Treat Gang!

The Editorial

Madonna's adoption of a boy from Malawi has brought about a spotlight on international adoption this month. On the 23rd of October, our local newspaper printed an editorial that really frustrated me. I sent a reply to the paper that week, and it was printed on the 30th(albeit with a lame title that indicated I was promoting "world peace"). So many folks have commented on my letter and have wanted to re-read the original editorial as well, so I've copied it, and my response below.

Cobourg Daily Star (ON) Editorial Page,
Monday, October 23, 2006,

More to adoptions than publicity
The entertainment world - which increasingly intrudes on the world of news - is agog with the recent adoption by singer Madonna of a 13-month-old boy named David Banda from Malawi.
The entertainer already has two biological children with her husband, Guy Ritchie. Her stated purpose in enlarging the family at this time is to rescue this one child from a life of poverty and disease.
David's biological father, meanwhile, has apparently only now realized that allowing Madonna (or anyone else) to adopt his son, means surrendering his parental rights completely and forever.
Yesterday, he was telling the media: "I was never told that adoption means that David will no longer be my son... If I was told this, I would not have allowed the adoption."
Mr. Banda's wife, David's mother, died shortly after giving birth. Unable to care for his son, Mr. Banda took him to an orphanage. Now, David is poised to become brother to Lourdes and Rocco Ritchie and Mr. Banda is suggesting he thought the adoption only meant Madonna would pay to educate and care for David.
To her credit, according to BBC News, Madonna funds six orphanages through her Raising Malawi charity and is setting up an orphanage for 4,000 children in a village outside the capital, Lilongwe. She is doing much more than helping one child or (less charitably) acquiring an African accessory to complement her white son and daughter.
Treading the streets of Toronto today, one would think the latest Yuppie fashion must-have is a Chinese daughter.
But, before we allow our cynicism to take over, perhaps we should consider the lives these adoptees might have, if they were not chosen by affluent Westerners.
China's longtime one-child policy meant that male children became even more of a priority for families. Within that culture, historically, girls married into another family and were no longer responsible for their birth parents, whereas sons, in addition to continuing the family name and lineage, could be relied upon to care for parents in their old age. When the government decreed that overpopulation and waning resources would only allow for one child per family, more affluent or urban couples began seeking confirmation of gender before birth, i.e. through ultrasound technology. Female fetuses were often aborted.
In the countryside, where such technology may not have been available, many baby girls were abandoned. Orphanages filled up, until childless western couples discovered this "motherlode" of healthy babies for adoption.
It would be wonderful to think that Madonna (if she does, in fact, get to adopt David) and other cross-cultural adoptive parents would learn and pass on something of their child's ethnic background. If they don't, the sense of cultural displacement the children may feel pales in comparison to the hardships they would have experienced, if left in their homeland orphanages.
More and more, not only within society, but even within families, multiracial ethnicity is becoming the norm.
It is sad to think that this may contribute to the dilution of cultures and an increasing sameness amongst humanity.
But it is encouraging that we are increasingly seeing all human people as part of one human family - our own.
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Cobourg Daily Start, Editorial Page
Monday October 30th

Interracial adoptions enrich families and promote world peace
As a mother who has been blessed with three amazing children (two adopted from China and one biological), I would like to comment on “More to adoptions than Publicity” (October 23, 2006). Not only do I struggle to understand what point is being made, there are several insinuations within the editorial that I take issue with.

I interpret the comment that Madonna “already has two biological children with her husband Guy”, as the editor’s way of suggesting that they have no right to build their family through adoption. Perhaps the feeling is that adoption should be reserved for the infertile?? It may surprise you that some families feel a higher motivation to provide a home for any child, as opposed to a home for a child who is an exact replica of themselves. I don’t know anyone who has ventured within the walls of an orphanage (whether it be in China, Ukraine, Russia, Cambodia, Malawi, etc), and not seen a child who has stolen their heart. It is a humanizing and humbling experience. One that makes a person appreciate the blessing that was bestowed upon them at birth. To get a glimpse into an innocent child’s personality, to know that you can provide what they need, and to not wish to do that is a nearly impossible thing to do. If more people would consider adoption (fertile or not), there would be far fewer children growing up without parents around the world.

Madonna’s choosing to adopt David is referred to as “less charitable”. Adoption is not about charity, it’s about building a family. Adoptive parents find it objectionable when people make the comment, “what a wonderful thing we have done to adopt a poor orphan”. What they fail to see is that the gifts our children give us far outweigh any “good deed” we may have done. They also rarely recognize the losses that our children experience in adoption, believing incorrectly that our heritage and culture is far superior.

The majority of families I know who have adopted internationally are far from affluent. Most of them have either gone into debt to finance their adoptions, or have made saving for their adoption a priority things like a new car or a bigger house. The Angelina Jolie’s and Madonna’s of the adoption world are in the minority.

Regardless, adoptive children are neither “African accessories” nor “Yuppie fashion must-haves”. These children are human beings whom we love with every fiber of our being. Parenting is a tough job, one which goes beyond a cute baby. The author has demonstrated in this editorial that it is also a job that you are judged more heavily on when you have a conspicuous family.

The choice to adopt internationally is rarely taken lightly by parents, and is often reached after experiencing frustrations associated with domestic adoption. In the case of trans-racial adoptions, parents look beyond race and ethnicity to see a child who needs a family and to realize that they can provide that.

China is by far the most popular country to adopt from right now, in part because there are so many children who need homes. But China also has one of the most predictable and above board adoption programs in the world, making to less likely to be subject to the improprieties associated with other adoption programs. I commend the editor for taking the time to educate the world on one of the reasons that children are available for adoption in China, but there are others as well (poverty, illness, disability and death to name a few). I also congratulate the author for recognizing that families who adopt a child from another country need to “learn and pass on something of their child’s ethnic background” to prevent the “sense of cultural displacement”. As a part of the application process, a social worker addresses this issue in an applicant’s Home Study. The adoptive families I know strive to adopt a culture as well as a child. As have other adoptive families, we have taken part in culture camps, celebrated Chinese holidays, enrolled in Mandarin lessons and plan to return to China to explore our daughters’ heritage one day.

While the author feels that multiracial ethnicity within families will “contribute to the dilution of cultures and an increasing sameness amongst humanity”, I prefer to think that learning about different cultures adds to the richness of life. As a parent, I hope to encourage our children to learn about more than just their birth culture and the culture in which they now live. The more that we understand each other, the better we are able to get along in this world!
Karen Klassen / Baltimore, Ontario